Friday, May 6, 2011

Mother's Day

Everywhere I turn, I notice the promotions for this upcoming Mother's Day.  They arrive as flyers in my home, ads in the newspaper, commercials on television and radio, and on signage in retail locations.  I have always enjoyed celebrating this special day, without much fanfare but always with sincerity.  To commemorate my first Mother's Day in 1982, a beautiful card arrived in the mail from my best friend, who is also my oldest daughter's godmother.  What a simple but thoughtful gesture.  Over the years, there have been homemade brunches, flowers, drawings, cards, and occasional small gifts.  Being a mother continually challenges me to dig deep and as a result, I become a stronger, more compassionate, and courageous human being. Throughout this past week, I have once again been given the opportunity to practice staying focused on now.  When my mind begins to drift ahead and think about this coming Mother's Day without my son,  I become anxious, overwhelmingly sad, and feel a hole in my heart.  On Sunday I will be sharing dinner with my family, lovingly prepared by my daughters and their husbands, and for that I am so very grateful.  I am still my son's mother, I will always be his mother, and all the experiences of these past twenty nine years of being a mother will help me celebrate this first Mother's Day without him the best I can.   


Helen said...

It made me teary reading your post and I couldn't help imagining the hole in my heart were I in the same situation. I know you realize that Michael is close by but I wondered if just picturing him at another table in another room around the corner might help. Like you sometimes have to spread out at big family gatherings ....... he is joining you but just out of sight around the corner, enjoying Mother's Day with you.

Vera said...

Thanks Helen, that's so sweet!

Gena said...

If only there was a card I could have sent you this year, you know it would be in the mail. My heart aches for you, but I know you will get through tomorrow in your own way, bringing peace to those around you with your steady beam of love. xxoo Sis