Thursday, March 28, 2013

All Will be Revealed

I am grateful for the gift of consecutive sunny days, warmer temperatures, and the new growth bursting forth around me.  It is magical to be experiencing spring within a garden entirely new to me, one that has been lovingly tended to over the years.  As the fresh green shoots from various bulbs emerge here and there, I consider what kinds of flowers might appear.  When I walk by the tightly closed rhododendron buds, I speculate on the colour that will eventually be revealed.  As I lean in to take a closer look at the dark pink blossoms showing up on some of the bushes, I wonder what they are called.  And then, within minutes of sitting down to write this post, a hummingbird arrived to nourish itself at the feeder we brought with us - the first one I have seen here since we moved in, adding an exclamation mark to all of this magnificence.  Exquisite timing.

Thursday, March 21, 2013

Lighter Days

Yet another storm blew in yesterday, with high winds, cold temperatures, and torrential rains - a dismal welcome for Spring's long awaited arrival.  Now this morning, as I gaze out one of our home's full glass walls, I am overjoyed to see the sun shining upon the towering cedars of the nearby forest and am reassured that the lighter days are indeed on their way.  And not a moment too soon.

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Timeless Truths

As the rain continues to fall, I am curled up indoors with the spiritual writings of Kahlil Gibran's The Prophet, a timeless collection of poetic essays infused with love and mysticism.  I find comfort in these timeless words of wisdom, particularly in those poems I included when honouring significant life events.  On Children, a passage that was read aloud during each child's dedication ceremony.  On Death, a poem I delivered at my mother's funeral.  On Marriage, a passage I shared during both daughters' wedding celebrations.  In a rich and gentle manner, Gibran expresses profound truths that my heart and soul recognize, just as countless other hearts and souls have for generations. Heavenly. 

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Holding the Pieces Together

Over the past few weeks, as I occasionally considered the approaching second anniversary of Michael's death, I noticed that my feelings of dread were not as overwhelming as they were last year, and for that I was grateful.  Then suddenly, this morning, I hit the emotional wall.  I had set aside time to unpack a few more boxes and clean the house in preparation for our family dinner tomorrow.  I was missing him terribly, so during the housework, I decided to blast the music that had played at his service.  I had not heard this CD for the better part of a year.  A few songs in, over the noisy vacuum cleaner, I was startled by a shattering noise.  When I looked over to where the sound had come from, I saw one of the glass candle holders from the top shelf lying broken on the floor, reduced to shattered fragments.  It had been one of a matching pair given to me a few months after the tragedy - one honouring Michael and the other for Kelly.  I picked up the remains of the base, and even before I turned it over to check the initial on the bottom, I knew it would be an M.  That is when the floodgates opened. When I tried to make sense of what had happened, I realized that the music speaker was on a lower shelf and the vibration must have shaken the one candle holder off.  Was it an accident or something more?  It was definitely a reflection of the shattered feelings I was experiencing. Tomorrow I plan on going to yoga, then babysitting my granddaughter, followed by spending time with my family.  This will all contribute in helping to hold my pieces together.