Seven Years

     Yesterday marked seven years without his physical presence, but now that March 7th has passed, the nausea and deep fatigue that set in earlier this week is beginning to wane.
     The sun was kind enough to make an appearance for my weekly forest walk with the chocolate lab yesterday morning. Strolling along the creekside trail, taking it slow for a change, fully present to nature's healing elements. Recognizing and breathing in the early signs of spring, of renewal. Chirping birds, filtered sunshine, purling creek, and flowering bulbs bursting forth through the decay -  sights and sounds to nourish my soul.
     For dinner, as we have done on each anniversary, our family replicated the simple meal of chicken fajitas that Michael and Kelly had prepared for us the evening before they left for that fateful cabin weekend. A meaningful way for us to mark this day.
    With yesterday behind us, and spring just around the corner, we embrace the additional light and renewed life before us. 
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Walk With Me

     Easter Sunday's forecast called for sunshine, so my husband and I took the short ferry ride over to Bowen Island for lunch and an easy hike around the lake. We had already celebrated early Easter with a family brunch on Good Friday, so our day was wide open.
     The last time we had visited Bowen together was in the spring of 2010, during our son's six week stay at The Orchard Recovery Centre. For six consecutive Saturdays, my husband and I travelled there to learn more about addiction and begin rebuilding relationships. After one of those sessions, the three of us had used our free time to walk around this very lake together. It was a memorable afternoon because, for the first time in a long time, we were speaking to each other from the heart, which stirred up many intense emotions, negative and positive. That year, Easter weekend fell during Michael's six week stay there, so this was an added layer my husband and I were now experiencing.
     All the emotions and memories now being triggered was not something I had foreseen at all. Thankfully, a mantra soon appeared - Walk with me. During each long in-breath, I silently expressed those words, and with each long out-breath, I slowly released the air in my lungs. I repeated this cycle as needed over the course of the hike, visualizing Michael's spirit walking with us now.
     Later that day, while approaching the dock for the return ferry, I looked up to see a lone, majestic eagle fly in, very low, directly overhead. I overheard the young, native woman walking behind me tell her friend, "In my culture this is a powerful spiritual symbol. My grandmother will be so happy when I tell her about this." For me, this eagle's appearance was an incredible sign of support. This trip certainly became much more than I had anticipated ... it turned out to be the perfect way to connect with our son on this Easter Sunday.
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Smorgasbord of Smiles

An entertaining nature show welcomed me home, yesterday evening. It began with a black squirrel scampering over the grass to the patio, then promptly stopping, dropping down onto its back, to soak in the last of the sun's rays. A short time later, I noticed another squirrel help itself to some small, green strawberries, unwilling to wait a week for them to ripen. Then, just before dusk settled in, a young skunk sniffed its way along the path beside the huge glass doors, before sauntering off across the yard. This late spring evening, verging on summer, offering up a smorgasbord of opportunities to smile.

All Will be Revealed

I am grateful for the gift of consecutive sunny days, warmer temperatures, and the new growth bursting forth around me.  It is magical to be experiencing spring within a garden entirely new to me, one that has been lovingly tended to over the years.  As the fresh green shoots from various bulbs emerge here and there, I consider what kinds of flowers might appear.  When I walk by the tightly closed rhododendron buds, I speculate on the colour that will eventually be revealed.  As I lean in to take a closer look at the dark pink blossoms showing up on some of the bushes, I wonder what they are called.  And then, within minutes of sitting down to write this post, a hummingbird arrived to nourish itself at the feeder we brought with us - the first one I have seen here since we moved in, adding an exclamation mark to all of this magnificence.  Exquisite timing.

Lighter Days

Yet another storm blew in yesterday, with high winds, cold temperatures, and torrential rains - a dismal welcome for Spring's long awaited arrival.  Now this morning, as I gaze out one of our home's full glass walls, I am overjoyed to see the sun shining upon the towering cedars of the nearby forest and am reassured that the lighter days are indeed on their way.  And not a moment too soon.

Brighter Days

Despite these grey and damp skies, the unmistakable presence of hope exists.  Noticing a multitude of spring's early signs.  Well ahead of the official date, still four weeks away.  Appreciating clusters of delicate snowdrops in a neighbour's garden.  Passing by bushes profusely adorned with pink hued buds.  Grateful for the masses of daffodils inching their way closer to flowering.  Surprisingly spotting an early blooming cherry tree yesterday afternoon.  All this new life, combined with increasing daylight, attempting to brighten the days with optimism and cheer. 

Baby Parker

This is what hope and joy look like.  A little one making its way into our family.   All of us lovingly awaiting the spring arrival of you, Baby Parker.  Visions of your soul and Uncle Mike conferring ahead of time. About where and when to incarnate.  Some serious discussion.  Much laughter too.  Spending pure quality time together.  Choosing Michael's oldest sister and her husband to be the parents.  Two people keen on giving your life the best possible beginnings.  Surrounded by loving family and friends.  Great choice little one.  Very much looking forward to welcoming you into my arms soon.  You having already found a place in my heart.

I Heart K P

It was definitely the right weekend for my husband and I to take our first trip back up to the cabin since that fateful day.  With the sun shining and all the signs of spring along the way, the energy was lighter and brighter than it otherwise might have been. When we arrived early Friday afternoon, there was still a thin layer of ice on the lake, but by Saturday, there were some patches of open water, and on Sunday morning, about half of the lake was ice free.  When we returned from our run yesterday, my husband stood out on the deck, and gazing down onto a frozen section of the lake close to our beach, he noticed that there were huge symbols and letters out there. At first, he only recognized a large heart but then realized that there were also three letters carved into the ice, I K P, with the heart symbol positioned between the I and the K.   I Heart K P, I love Kelly Pockett.  He called me over to share what he had discovered.  As I read the image, I felt a smile break out on my face and in my heart.  By today, that picture will be gone, as the lake readies itself for summer. The message however, will remain forever.  How fortunate we were to be able to witness that declaration of love.