Friday, July 27, 2012
Late afternoon. Feeling an unexpected urge to begin jotting down the rough draft for this post. Going with it even though I would be heading out shortly. Positioning myself in the centre of the sofa, out on the back deck. That entire area covered by a glass roof. With a wall to my back and another to the right, this space open to the elements on only two sides. Mere minutes into the process, noticing something drifting down beside me, then landing on this couch. Directly to my right. Gazing down at a small, delicate, light grey feather. No recollection of ever seeing one like this here before. Immediately looking skyward to determine its origin. Trying to make sense of a seemingly impossible occurrence. Seconds later, putting two and two together. At least an aspect of it. Recalling my discovery of tiny white feathers on the morning of Michael and Kelly's accident. Those, the same size as this one, just fuller. Two of them lying there on the mat, just steps from this sofa. This time around, recognizing it to be a sign from another young man. One I did not know. Dear to a close friend of mine. She emailing me earlier in the day after having been informed of his accidental death due to being hit by a car. Occurring two days prior to this correspondence. Leaving her feeling overwhelming sadness and shock, at the ostensibly senseless nature of this event. Now, while staring at this feather, suddenly remembering this same friend of mine sitting here with me earlier in the week. On this very couch, on the very day that young man died. Me on the left, she on the right. Exactly where this tiny grey feather now lay. Definitely not an accident.
Saturday, July 21, 2012
A close friend of Kelly's calling to share a beautiful love story. Regarding an incident occurring at her recent outdoor wedding. Held on the property of a lakeside summer camp for teen girls. This bride-to-be having to adjust to the fact that Kelly would not be there as her maid of honour. Something they had previously agreed upon. Instead, incorporating little touches throughout the day to represent her friend as best she could. Including the best man carrying a single rose during the ceremony. Later, while mingling with her guests, being asked about the significance of the rose by someone unaware of the history. The bride briefly explaining the situation. Moments later, her young niece, the flower girl, joining the group. Wanting to show her aunt the treasure she had just found. Discovering a hand painted rock lying on a pile of dirt, away from the crowds. Golden in colour, with spots of blue, green and yellow paint scattered around the circumference. The name Kelly spelled out in bold, black letters on the top! What a gift. An unmistakable sign. Reassuring the bride of Kelly's presence on this very significant day. Following our conversation, me recalling another special painted rock in existence personalized with Kelly's name. From my oldest daughter's wedding, less than two years ago. Stephanie and her friends decorating stones with glitter paint. One for each guest, with both first and last name. Using them as place settings at the dinner. Kelly, like most of us, taking hers home as a keepsake. Precious painted rocks. Symbolizing love, friendship, and family connection.
Sunday, July 15, 2012
Preparing for morning meditation. Focusing on the breath. Taking longer than usual to get settled. Once there, asking Michael's spirit to please continue staying close. Visualizing our energies interweaving while sitting in this stillness. Breathing the essence of him into my heart. Very much needing his daily help while navigating this journey. Strongly believing in the existence of a spiritual law providing the availability of long term support in circumstances such as this. Part of the contract when engaging in the experience of a parent losing a child. The bond between these spirits remaining especially strong and deeply attached. Continuing to put out this heartfelt request nevertheless. Knowing the onus is on us to invite this help in. They not wanting to overstep their parameters. Waiting for our expression of free will instead.
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
Wakening to a hot and sunny Okanagan morning yesterday. Feeling the weight of the building thunderstorm. Likely the reason behind the previous night's restless sleep. Getting out for a long swim. The first of the year. After lunch, settling in on the mat, overlooking the lake. Practicing yin yoga. The atmospheric pressure finally releasing in the form of thunder, lightening and heavy rain. This summer storm playing out all around me. Breathing in that cooler, moist, sweet summer air. Simultaneously releasing deep internal tension while holding those long poses. Soon after, witnessing a magnificent rainbow. Reflecting the very colours of the chakras. Red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, and violet. Grateful for such a rich and vibrant day.
Wednesday, July 4, 2012
Immersing myself in the creative process of producing the book. Based on that first year. With such great support. Currently collecting images to consider including therein. Flipping through photos taken from Michael's camera. All printed off a few weeks after he died. Coming across one I had completely forgotten about. Having first seen it long before the ongoing penny theme became evident. This picture capturing a loving message. Spelled out with these copper coloured coins upon a tabletop. I ♡ U. Feeling the love behind it. Adding a layer of understanding. Shedding light on this theme. Now recognizing that it began long before the end.