Did That Just Happen?

 

     In advance of my upcoming overseas trip, I downloaded an app onto my cellphone yesterday afternoon, in order to help me stay connected with family, without incurring any great costs. I had heard reference made to WhatsApp a couple of times, but knew nothing about it. Once downloaded, I noticed an updated list of my phone contacts, notifying me of those using this app. Scrolling down, I saw Michael Gibson listed there, with the notation, "Hey there! I am using WhatsApp". What?! Had he downloaded this app before he died? Was it even around five years ago? Impulsively, I went into the Chat function and typed,
 "Miss you 💗".
     Obviously, he would not actually answer his phone. My assumption was that the message would go out into the ether and that the intention behind it would be felt by my son. Seconds later, I heard an audio alert on my cell and read the reply, "Sorry, but who r u?" In that moment, I felt as if I was in a parallel universe. I walked into my living room and settled into the lounge chair located near the large, open, glass sliding door. It took me a few minutes to figure out that Michael's cell number must have been reassigned to someone else so I typed out a short reply apologizing for the mistaken identity.
     When I was done, I sat there looking out into the yard, contemplating what had just happened when I suddenly caught sight of a tiny feather drifting down, just outside the door opening. I jumped up, stepped outside, and started laughing as I watched it land on the path, right beside the glass door. "Are you kidding?" and "Did that just happen?" swirled around in my mind. This time around it was a light grey feather, instead of the usual white, and I am not yet sure if the colour is of great significance or not. One thing I do know for sure is how grateful I am to have access to the myriad ways of staying connected to family, regardless of where in the world we may be.  
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Divine Illumination

Waking with lingering impressions of a particularly clear and poignant dream.  In it, travelling with the trailer, just as we currently are.  However, in this scenario, stopping en route for a short layover at our cabin.  Running into one of Michael's friends who actually lives in that area.  Asking me if he and a buddy could spend the night with us, in our cottage.  Explaining that it is a little too hectic at his family's home right now.  Replying, "Of course, anytime."  Sensing this young man's compassionate nature, while receiving his  big bear hug from behind.  He wanting to know how I was doing.  Assuring him that I was well, and thanking him for inquiring.  A short time later, all of us relaxing around the fire outdoors.  Soon after,  his sister unexpectedly stopping by with a gift.  Extending her hand, and offering me a ring.  Mentioning that when first spotting it, she had instantly known it was meant for me.  A perfect, round stone, mounted upon a smooth gold band.  Somewhat pearl-like in appearance.  Its lower half, slate grey in colour.  The upper portion, glowing brilliant white.  Immediately understanding the powerful symbolism.  Even with, or possibly due to, underlying darkness, there exists in life an equal measure of beauty and light.  This dream casting divine illumination on the day ahead. 

Feathery Appearance

Late afternoon.  Feeling an unexpected urge to begin jotting down the rough draft for this post.  Going with it even though I would be heading out shortly.  Positioning myself in the centre of the sofa, out on the back deck.  That entire area covered by a glass roof.  With a wall to my back and another to the right, this space open to the elements on only two sides.  Mere minutes into the process, noticing something drifting down beside me, then landing on this couch.  Directly to my right. Gazing down at a small, delicate, light grey feather.  No recollection of ever seeing one like this here before.  Immediately looking skyward to determine its origin.  Trying to make sense of a seemingly impossible occurrence.  Seconds later, putting two and two together.  At least an aspect of it.  Recalling my discovery of tiny white feathers on the morning of Michael and Kelly's accident.  Those, the same size as this one, just fuller.  Two of them lying there on the mat, just steps from this sofa.  This time around, recognizing it to be a sign from another young man.  One I did not know.  Dear to a close friend of mine.  She emailing me earlier in the day after having been informed of his accidental death due to being hit by a car.  Occurring two days prior to this correspondence.  Leaving her feeling overwhelming sadness and shock, at the ostensibly senseless nature of this event.  Now, while staring at this feather, suddenly remembering this same friend of mine sitting here with me earlier in the week.  On this very couch, on the very day that young man died.  Me on the left, she on the right.  Exactly where this tiny grey feather now lay.  Definitely not an accident. 

Brighter Days

Despite these grey and damp skies, the unmistakable presence of hope exists.  Noticing a multitude of spring's early signs.  Well ahead of the official date, still four weeks away.  Appreciating clusters of delicate snowdrops in a neighbour's garden.  Passing by bushes profusely adorned with pink hued buds.  Grateful for the masses of daffodils inching their way closer to flowering.  Surprisingly spotting an early blooming cherry tree yesterday afternoon.  All this new life, combined with increasing daylight, attempting to brighten the days with optimism and cheer. 

Awaiting Lighter Moments

Dull and flat.  These two words aptly describing both the inside and out. Missing them so very much.  That space they inhabited so noticeably empty.  Acutely feeling that void.  Resulting in a dullness within.  The gloomy, damp, grey weather adding its unwelcoming layer of flatness to the day.  However, there is a walk along the river with my young companion this morning, followed by the book club get-together this evening.  Hence, lighter moments await.  They always do.