Thursday, August 30, 2012
On this gorgeous sunny morning, picturing a fully inflated, brightly coloured, helium balloon. Imagining myself tying a message to its string before releasing it into the sky. Limiting it to just one sentence. Taking a few moments to consider what that might be. The perfect words showing up soon after. "I am grateful for the set of attributes that I have come into this life with, and for all the experiences I have had to date, which together enable me to continue gaining wisdom and achieving growth in this lifetime." Feeling confident in this spirited balloon's ability to carry my weighted words despite its seemingly delicate appearance.
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
Experiencing total relaxation. For mind, body, and soul. Upon waking, allowing each day to comfortably unfold. Choosing to make only minimal plans in advance. Savouring an espresso on the deck. Practicing yoga outdoors. Meditating in the warm breeze. Hiking in the shade of the woods, or in the full sun along the alpine trails. Devouring simple picnics or elaborate restaurant offerings. Falling asleep under a feather duvet, to the soothing sounds of the mountain stream nearby. And yet, still hearing the silent screams in my mind. Accompanying me on this journey across the ocean. Loud and clear. My psyche continuing to process the loss in minuscule pieces. On that deepest level, wisely accepting only tiny fragments of the situation at a time. Just as nature intended. Leading me to consider Edvard Munch's famous painting The Scream. The artist creating a visual representation of the weather and surrounding landscape of that specific moment. He sensing something deeper in this expression of nature. He hearing a silent scream too.
Thursday, August 16, 2012
Before leaving for this trip, dropping off the rough draft of my book at a friend's. A talented graphic designer and artist offering to help with layout and illustration. Arranging to leave it with her to brainstorm various possibilities. Sitting beside each other at her kitchen table. Explaining the material I had gathered thus far. Discussing potential themes and images. Turning to the photo of a shelf in my living room. One dedicated entirely to Michael and Kelly. The display including photos, candles, feathers and other tokens. Explaining the significance of each item aloud. Then intentionally choosing to skip over one. Thinking it was less important than the rest. Seconds later, watching a yellow butterfly enter the room. Coming in from outside through a small opening on the left side of the main window. Located quite a distance from where we were working. Flying closer, then circling around the back of my friend's head, continuing behind mine. Then returning to the outdoors via the narrow opening on the far right side of that same picture window. Again through a space no wider than my hand. Executing a perfect C shaped flight. Shaking my head in disbelief while witnessing this once in a lifetime experience. Exclaiming my utter surprise to my friend. Pointing out the one item on the shelf in the photo I had not bothered to mention. A yellow fabric butterfly mounted upon a smooth stone. A decoration that had originally been placed in the pot of an orchid plant. Receiving this sympathy gift three weeks after the accident. From the owner of a small shop I occasionally frequent. Holding onto the ornament. That plant long gone. This trinket obviously just as valuable as all the others up there on that shelf. That beautiful butterfly coming to show me just that.
Thursday, August 9, 2012
Ensconced in a traditional Swiss house in the charming village of Klosters, high up in the alps. An ongoing symphony of cow bells playing in the background. Awakening to children from an adjoining apartment singing their scales. Good friends generously offering us this opportunity to enjoy a few weeks of wellness. Expansive meadows, cool mountain streams, colourful wild flowers, and stunning views right outside the door. The slow pace here holding space to just be. Grateful to be able to enjoy such a glorious gift.
Saturday, August 4, 2012
At times, verbalizing the loss leaves me struggling to breathe. Straining to fill my lungs with oxygen. Imagining a fish would feel this way, if plucked from the sea, then tossed ashore. Undergoing this sense of insufficient intake of life sustaining fuel. Experiencing it particularly when speaking to a very close friend or loved one about the impact of his death. When acknowledging aloud that the space he held in our family has lost its density. My reaction indicating there is still much left to release from within. Even after spending hundreds upon hundreds of hours writing about it. Thinking about it. Talking about it. Connecting with spirit about it. The journey continues. There is no shortcut.
Thursday, August 2, 2012
I am one of the fortunate. Able to avail myself of the healthful benefits associated with massage therapy. Luxuriating in the stress release and deep relaxation of this self care treatment. My latest session leaving me feeling even more grateful than usual. After completing an hour of hands-on treatment, the therapist spontaneously deciding to spend extra time engaging in energy work. Gently moving her hands around my head, without physically touching me. With my eyes closed, soon noticing a rectangular, round-cornered gemstone hovering in the vicinity of my third eye. Appearing in the palest shade of blue possible, just shy of being white. It eventually fading, only to be replaced with a jewel of equal size and shape, but tinted rich ruby red. Thereafter, in smooth succession, each gem disappearing, with a new one emerging in yet another spectacular colour. From deepest orange through brilliant yellow, vivid emerald green, cool sapphire, vibrant indigo, and lastly, to peaceful violet. An extraordinary display. After dressing, eagerly describing this magical experience to the practitioner. While speaking, suddenly recognizing all the traditional chakra colours. The first image containing all the colours, appearing almost white. Then the seven representing root to crown, following sequentially. She now explaining the silent intention she had set for the additional healing work. That of concentrating specifically on the chakras. Choosing this theme for a client only once or twice before in all these years. This unexpected result pleasantly surprising the two of us. Both in awe of receiving such colourful confirmation of predominantly unseen energy.