Did That Just Happen?

 

     In advance of my upcoming overseas trip, I downloaded an app onto my cellphone yesterday afternoon, in order to help me stay connected with family, without incurring any great costs. I had heard reference made to WhatsApp a couple of times, but knew nothing about it. Once downloaded, I noticed an updated list of my phone contacts, notifying me of those using this app. Scrolling down, I saw Michael Gibson listed there, with the notation, "Hey there! I am using WhatsApp". What?! Had he downloaded this app before he died? Was it even around five years ago? Impulsively, I went into the Chat function and typed,
 "Miss you 💗".
     Obviously, he would not actually answer his phone. My assumption was that the message would go out into the ether and that the intention behind it would be felt by my son. Seconds later, I heard an audio alert on my cell and read the reply, "Sorry, but who r u?" In that moment, I felt as if I was in a parallel universe. I walked into my living room and settled into the lounge chair located near the large, open, glass sliding door. It took me a few minutes to figure out that Michael's cell number must have been reassigned to someone else so I typed out a short reply apologizing for the mistaken identity.
     When I was done, I sat there looking out into the yard, contemplating what had just happened when I suddenly caught sight of a tiny feather drifting down, just outside the door opening. I jumped up, stepped outside, and started laughing as I watched it land on the path, right beside the glass door. "Are you kidding?" and "Did that just happen?" swirled around in my mind. This time around it was a light grey feather, instead of the usual white, and I am not yet sure if the colour is of great significance or not. One thing I do know for sure is how grateful I am to have access to the myriad ways of staying connected to family, regardless of where in the world we may be.  
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I Still Call Bullshit

This morning, while placing flowers at the memorial plaque engraved with my son's birth and death dates, the voice in my head is still calling bullshit.  On a soul level, I understand Michael's passing, however, as his mother, I doubt if it will ever make sense.  The accident happened two and a half years ago today.  It might as well be two and a half months ago, since time has done little, if anything, to alter my day-to-day reality with respect to this intense loss.  How could it?  He is gone. He will never again give me a hug, never again call me on the phone, never again sit down to a family meal.  Regardless of what is happening in my day, experiencing joy or sadness or anything in-between, this companion called grief is with me, always.  I would not have anticipated this is how it would be, but as with any profound life experience, you don't know until you are in it.

Diluted Experiences

Sharing a meal with family.  Sipping coffee with a friend.  Walking the dog.  Spending time at the playground with a child.  Out on a date with a lover.  Various scenarios offering invaluable possibilities for meaningful connection and engagement.  In the course of a day, observing individuals in each of these situations opting to dilute the experiences.  Choosing to direct energy and attention to lengthy cell phone communication with others instead.  Distracting them from the gift of the here and now.  Leaving me to wonder if they would consider taking up the challenge of being fully present.  Putting down the phone during those precious moments.  Embracing the opportunity to pick up their life instead.

I'm Right Here

Enjoying a dynamic conversation with a young woman recently. Someone I had never spoken to.  She initiating the contact.  Calling me after receiving prompting by spirit.  Not personally acquainted with Michael or Kelly before they passed.  Only hearing of their existence from a friend.  Now on the phone with me, relaying experiences of spirit connection.  The first occurring on the eve of the memorial golf tournament last June.  Spending the night with two friends.  Sleeping in a home with a connection to Kelly.  Waking to her legs being shaken.  With powerful energy.  Sitting up and noticing a young man standing at the foot of the bed.  Hearing him say, "I'm right here." Observing a young woman quietly standing nearby.  Understanding she was seeing Mike and Kelly.  People she had never met.  In the morning, discussing it with friends who had known the two.  Receiving confirmation about what she had surmised.  A second incident occurring last week.  A voice suggesting, "You need to talk to my mom." Again recognizing Mike.  Unsure of the reason behind the advise. Listening to her intuition.  Following through.  Not long into our conversation, understanding why.  Later, conveying a related incident to her.  Describing the experience my husband had around that time last year.  Being roused from his sleep.  By a voice speaking those exact same three words.  "I'm right here."  Feeling his son standing at the foot of the bed!  All of these occurrences showing further evidence of eternal existence.  These individuals open to experiencing it.  In love and light.