Pure Bliss

Rather than celebrating just the one day, this year I enjoyed an entire week of Mother's Day celebrations. Some were pre-planned events, others, spontaneous. I was able to keep chores, errands, and shoulds to a minimum, then upped the self-care, pampering quotient. Adding in decadent activities that I would generally spread out over the course of many months, made for an incredible Mother's Day week.  

Monday: boot camp followed by an hour-long massage
Tuesday: hanging out with my precious grandkids 
Wednesday: seabus excursion with my granddaughter, exploring public art downtown and introducing her to drinking chocolate
Thursday: forest run, then lunch out with my older daughter and granddaughter, followed by a mani/pedi
Friday: rainy hike in the canyon with a neighbour, followed by a facial and a little shopping
Saturday: home yoga practice to the music of 'Jesus Christ Superstar', then dinner at the home of long time friends
Sunday: morning walk with my husband, followed by late lunch with my younger daughter

Seven luxurious days, including loads of one-on-one time with family. Pure bliss. I am extremely thankful to have enjoyed such an indulgent week. It definitely made it easier to bear the absence of my son today, and my well has been refilled.
www.diaryofanintuitive.com 

Motherly Moments

     

     My young, newly-married mother gave birth to me, her first born, a few months after arriving here from Germany in 1956. With her minimal English and limited options, she cleaned houses for the first ten years to help make ends meet. Happily, she was able to give that up when she realized her dream of becoming a hairdresser. She absolutely loved her job and the clients in Edgemont Village. 

     When she passed away fourteen years ago, her family and friends dedicated a memorial bench to her in this same neighbourhood. If you find yourself in the village on Mother’s Day, you may notice the fresh flowers on her bench. If you have a few minutes, why not sit and enjoy the moment? If you are a young, harried mother, it may be an opportunity to catch your breath. If you are a mother with adult children, you might reminisce about precious moments you enjoyed while raising them. If your own mother is no longer with you, maybe a cherished memory of her will fill your heart. If you are a mother who has lost a child, perhaps you will settle into the deep connection with that love that never dies. And if you are lucky enough to be a grandmother, well, you might sit for a long while, just smiling at your good fortune. 

www.diaryofanintuitive.com

Believe It!

     To anyone who may find the following story hard to believe, I understand. The experience happened to me, and I can scarcely believe it myself.
     Late this morning, in the glorious sunshine, I wandered into the backyard and settled into the lounge chair. Feeling fatigued, due to a persistent cough and cold, I had listened to my body and decided to spend some time relaxing rather than attempting yard work. Observing the clouds, listening to the birds, and getting lost in the beauty of the garden, my mind wandered. I was looking forward to seeing my daughters and grandchildren later today to celebrate Mother's Day together, but that did not take away from desperately missing my son Michael. And so, of course, I asked. Would he please let me know that he was near, to show me that he could see how much my heart ached for his presence. Then, I just sat in that space, where spirit meets spirit. 
     A short time later, my husband arrived home and came over to sit with me. After both acknowledging the added challenges of this day, we got up and began walking towards the house together when I spotted something shiny lying on the grass. As I got closer, I saw that it was a round, silver object, and bending down to pick it up, I thought perhaps it might be a foil seal from a small bottle. However, when I turned it over, I froze. In my hand lay a clip-on metal badge, the size of a quarter, with the initial M on a soft pink background! Reaching my hand out to show my husband what I had found, I tried to explain what I had asked for just minutes before he got home, but I could not. Seeing this had literally taken my breath away. Tears of gratitude rolled down my cheeks, instead. I had never seen anything like this before. When I was finally able to speak, I filled him in. I told him that feathers, pennies and hummingbirds had all crossed my mind as possible signs, but I could never have imagined anything like this. And the fact that we had both walked over this exact spot many times yesterday, was not lost on us. It is only steps away from the house and we are certain that we would have noticed it - one hundred percent.
     As I turned to go into the house, my husband got out the push mower to cut the grass. Watching him, I realized that had I not found this gift when I did, he would likely have mowed right over it, then picked up this piece of "rubbish" and tossed it. I also recognized the perfection of him being here when I found it, allowing us to share this special experience. 
     Looking over at this gift now lying on the table beside me, I can scarcely believe my eyes.  But clearly, the magic that happens when one connects with the invisible knows no limits. Believe it! 
www.diaryofanintuitive.com


Update: May 11/15 1:30pm       
This morning I read the comment Gena posted on my personal FB page and it got me thinking. A MET badge? I had been to that museum seven years ago when she and I, along with my daughters, spent a week in New York, but I have no recollection of seeing this badge there. Not that this is surprising ... I often forget details like this, which is why I write things down, whereas Gena forgets nothing. After some online sleuthing I found out that indeed, up until 2013, rather than using paper entrance tickets, these badges were given out instead. And then it hit me. Early Saturday evening, I had taken a box filled with travel gear and guide books out into the backyard to sort through. I can only assume that the badge had somehow ended up in that box all those years ago. I did not see it when I was going through the items Saturday evening but it does explain how it likely ended up on the lawn. Now, where does that leave me with regards to this post? I know that signs from the invisible help support me on my journey. So many signs over the years have lifted my spirits, including hearts, hummingbirds, feathers, pennies, initials, and more. This sign was no less powerful ... finding this item with the initial M on a pink background on Mother’s Day was incredibly wonderful. None of that has changed. What has changed is that my logical side is able to relax now that I understand how it probably got there. And what about the magic?  Well, I also still believe that magic happens ... the magic of that badge dropping out of that box in that spot only to be discovered by me on Mother’s Day ... magic to the nth degree.

Invisible Mothers

      This coming Sunday, mothers across the country will be honoured with brunches, gifts, phone calls and cards. Some will be lovingly remembered with flowers placed at their grave. Today, however, my thoughts turn to all the invisible mothers in my midst. The mother whose first and only child was born with serious health issues, to which he succumbed four months later. The woman whose mothering experience consisted of giving birth to a baby, then placing her for adoption, without any further contact. The mother of one who raised her child to his late teens, only to have him die before her.
     For these, and the many other invisible mothers, there will be no celebration. Instead, the day will hold sadness, what-ifs, and likely, pain. This Mother's Day, let us send them our love, and hope that their friends and family take the time to acknowledge them, as well. It will not change their circumstances but it may help heal these mother's hearts .
Image: Shutterstock
www.diaryofanintuitive.com

Letting the Light Shine In

Experiencing another week on the roller-coaster of intense highs and lows.  Continuing to work with the graphic designer, readying my book for print -  necessitating combing through each page repeatedly, resulting in understandably heightened emotions.  Marking another Mother's Day - visiting with my daughters and extended family, four generations of mothers and their children gathered together. Organizing the upcoming memorial golf tournament, resulting in daily opportunities to reconnect with community and friends.  At times, I feel weighed down by the more difficult aspects of these endeavours.  Then, as I began writing this post, out in the sunshine this afternoon, I recognized that woven under, over and around all the challenges are the nourishing elements of support, love, and gratitude.  All those involved are mutually giving and receiving these life-sustaining energies.  Support. Love.  Gratitude.  All opening the door to let the light shine in.

Mother's Day

Everywhere I turn, I notice the promotions for this upcoming Mother's Day.  They arrive as flyers in my home, ads in the newspaper, commercials on television and radio, and on signage in retail locations.  I have always enjoyed celebrating this special day, without much fanfare but always with sincerity.  To commemorate my first Mother's Day in 1982, a beautiful card arrived in the mail from my best friend, who is also my oldest daughter's godmother.  What a simple but thoughtful gesture.  Over the years, there have been homemade brunches, flowers, drawings, cards, and occasional small gifts.  Being a mother continually challenges me to dig deep and as a result, I become a stronger, more compassionate, and courageous human being. Throughout this past week, I have once again been given the opportunity to practice staying focused on now.  When my mind begins to drift ahead and think about this coming Mother's Day without my son,  I become anxious, overwhelmingly sad, and feel a hole in my heart.  On Sunday I will be sharing dinner with my family, lovingly prepared by my daughters and their husbands, and for that I am so very grateful.  I am still my son's mother, I will always be his mother, and all the experiences of these past twenty nine years of being a mother will help me celebrate this first Mother's Day without him the best I can.