Time Alone

Spending time alone.  When my children were small, all those many years ago, I carved out precious moments during the week where I could just be with my own thoughts.  A young neighbour would babysit for an hour twice a week allowing me time for short walks in the canyon.  I relished these.  They nurtured me.  Once my children began leaving home, I was afforded much more alone time which felt luxurious.  Now however,  it has begun to feel like too much of a good thing.  Most of my time alone is filled with thoughts that revolve around the loss of Michael, Kelly and Diesel.  I am grateful to have so much time to process my new reality but am beginning to find myself desiring more opportunities for meaningful engagement of my mind elsewhere.  I never imagined that the time would come when I would feel that I had too much time alone.  Fascinating.