Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Not Too Soon

"Is it not too soon?"  "In my culture, the bereaved do not attend celebrations for a year." "This would be considered disrespectful in my family." These some of the comments I heard during the time leading up to the memorial golf tournament.  I had not even considered that concern when we began planning a few weeks after the accident.  These remarks were reminders that the "rules" for grieving and mourning are very diverse.  In some cultures the immediate family members wear black for an extended period of time.  In others, mourning attire is white.  Not black and white.  Black or white.  Or red, yellow, purple.  As with most rituals and traditions, there is no universal "right" or "wrong".  As for me, I will continue to make my choices based on what resonates within.  Judging from the feedback, that event resulted in so many experiencing some solace, moments of happiness, and a slight lessening of the pain.  How on earth would it have been more "proper" to wait a year or more?


Anonymous said...

It was a wonderful thing to do. The fact that you found the strength and courage to organize such an event is quite remarkable. I think Michael would be pleased you held such a special golf tournament for his friends and family.

Gena said...

It's always the right time to come together in to remember someone we love, always the right time to raise money for charity, and always the right time to lessen our pain by strengthening our bonds.