When my family first suggested that we host a golf tournament in Michael's memory, I had not imagined it would involve so much effort. But then, anything worthwhile usually does. Planning and taking care of details has always come easy to me. This time however, as I continue to cross tasks off my ever growing list, I often find myself feeling overwhelmed. It is the emotional undercurrent of this event that is such a personal challenge. Every action I take towards ensuring this weekend will be something his friends and family enjoy is weighed down by the knowledge that he will not actually be there playing with us. This is how closely joy and sadness can coexist.