Supported and Cared For

As 2014 was drawing to an end, I considered what the energy of 2015 held in store, and I felt it would be a supportive and nurturing year, infused with a sense of well-being while held in the universe's caring embrace.  I made the assumption, that generally, this would translate into a softer, easier year for all. But, right from day one, I learned of huge challenges and upheavals in the lives of some of my family, friends and clients. At first glance, this appeared to be in direct contrast to what I had initially sensed, but upon reflection, I realized that their challenges present me, and others, with the opportunity to offer supportive and nurturing energy to them.  And so, even though many may not experience this year as softer or easier, hopefully we will all feel supported and cared for.

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Reaching for the Stars

Exactly one year ago today, my paper child was launched into the world.  At that time, I made a commitment to myself that I would do what I could to get this book out to as great an audience as possible. With the ongoing support from family, friends and community, slowly but surely, it is happening. During the first year of its life, Diary of an Intuitive acquired a distributor, was placed into retail locations, listed on Amazon, mentioned in articles, entered in prominent competitions, sent to acclaimed authors, sold at markets, purchased by public libraries, and donated to various organizations. Like the figure on The Star tarot card, I will continue to reach for the stars.  After all, I also have some great support from up there.

Taking a Chance in 2013

2013 - a year containing the numerals zero, one, two and three, in scrambled order.  While walking along the ocean on this sunny afternoon, an image appeared - that of taking those four digits, tossing them up into the air, then watching them fall where they may.  With each subsequent throw, the resulting pattern of the numerals would change.  This is one of those rare years in which there is a possibility of all digits landing in a perfect sequence, 0123 or 3210.  A great year for taking a chance and shaking things up a little, creating opportunities for amazing outcomes.  Let the fun begin!

Emotional Tasks

Tasks relating to Michael's life continuing to weave their way through mine.  More than a year after his passing.  Finding a new home for his prized mountain bike.  Check.  Collecting and submitting his final income tax return.  Check.  As a group, completing the puzzle he and Kelly had begun.  Check.  None of these undertakings particularly daunting, yet a significant emotional charge accompanying each one. Processing them on a visceral level.  Calling for another expenditure of emotional energy.  The reserves of which still running low.  And so it goes.

Embodiment of Love

Dearest Kelly, you were the living embodiment of love.  Reflected in your warm smile and expressive eyes.  Readily felt by anyone in your presence.  Today marks the passing of an entire year without you.  Such a beautiful person greatly missed by so very many.  Friends and family trying to adjust to living with the void left behind.  Necessitating the creation of a revised connection to you.  Seeking comfort in the numerous memories alive in our hearts and minds.  Feeling uplifted when recognizing the loving signs that continue to appear.  Enabling us to stay linked with your spirit forever.

Last of the Firsts

Well, here it is.  March 7th showing itself once again.  This time, marking the first anniversary of Michael's passing.  Committing early on to fully experiencing this grieving process.  Giving myself the gift of this entire first year.  Without any expectation of what it might look or feel like.  Not pushing anything away.  Greatly appreciating the luxury of being able to do so.  Now having a personal reference point for an entire year's worth of emotionally charged days this life altering event presented.  A milestone of sorts.  Saying goodbye to the last of the firsts.

Under the Same Sun

A year ago today, I last heard your voice.  Calling home from the cabin. Describing the long leisurely walk you had just completed.  Along with Kelly and Diesel.  Under sunny skies, around the frozen snow-covered lake.  Hearing the pure happiness in your voice.  Prompting my heart to smile. Knowing the three of you were enjoying an amazing weekend together.  Holding onto this beautiful image.  Under the same sun, my son, that is thankfully shining down on me today.

Ten Months or Last Year

Tomorrow marks ten months since the accident.  Observing how different it feels to state that it happened last year.  To say that my son died last year.  A simple word substitution causing such a pronounced shift in perspective.  Discussing it in terms of 'months' indicating that the event occurred recently.  Very much reflecting the way it still feels. The words 'last year' implying it transpired some time ago.  Noting reluctance on my part to describe it this way.  Due to the assumption of less intense emotional attachment perhaps.  Not ready for that yet.  Still perceiving that it happened such a short time ago.  That curious concept of time coming into play once again.  The stark reality is that the event happened.  The language used when referring to it does not alter the actual incident.  What is does is affect and reflect my reaction to it.  Two separate issues.  One I can choose to change, the other I cannot.

Promising Year

A year filled with promise and adventure.  Becoming a grandmother, travelling, and continuing to write.  Looking forward to many rewarding times ahead.  Embracing further change.  Without that intense spiking energy present this time last year.  Sensing a lighter, less dense quality to the beginning of 2012. 

Taking Stock

Another calendar year drawing to a close.  Opportune time to take stock.  Reflecting on the great changes and challenges that occurred. All allowing for deeper learning and understanding.  About myself, as well as others.  A year rich in loving moments and experiences. Certainly one thoroughly filled with tremendous significance.

Palindrome Birthday

Happy Birthday to me.  A palindrome one at that.  Celebrating 55 years young.  On 2011-11-02.  All the numbers reading the same backwards and forwards.  An auspicious occasion to my way of thinking. Optimistically anticipating a powerful year ahead.  Sensing one abounding with positive and rewarding experiences.  Including savouring a piece of scrumptious birthday cake today!