Bittersweet Day

Sitting here in the dark.  Well after midnight now.  Writing by the light of two small candles glowing beside my son's picture on the shelf. Earlier this evening, enjoying a leisurely family dinner here.  With everyone pitching in.  A few hours later, the girls, their husbands, the baby, and my friend all going home.  Now still experiencing that familiar bittersweet state.  Pleasure tinged with sadness.  Present from the planning and preparation right through to the clean up.  Lingering in my heart long after.  Every time.  Recognizing it earlier this afternoon.  While walking along the river trail.  The notion, "My heart breaks many times a day," presenting itself.  Aptly describing ones such as this.

We ♥ U

Driving up to the cabin again.  Only our second time this year.  That familiar underlying apprehension gaining momentum while nearing Princeton.  Then rounding that bend.  Approaching the cross.  Spotting huge bursts of colour around the base.  Curiosity quickly replacing the anxiety.  Drawing closer to see a multitude of brilliant silk flowers. What a magnificent surprise.  Stopping the car to take it all in.  Various shades of yellow, blue, pink, orange, red, and purple.  Artfully arranged blossoms around a purple and yellow hand painted sign.  We ♥ U Kelly + Mike.  Their friend creating a lasting expression of her feelings.  Not Rest in Peace or You are Missed.  Choosing to focus on love instead.  Uplifting energy to counter some of the sadness.  The ripple effect of this heartfelt gesture impacting others.  The two of us turning to smile at each other.  And carrying on with lighter hearts.

I'm Right Here

Enjoying a dynamic conversation with a young woman recently. Someone I had never spoken to.  She initiating the contact.  Calling me after receiving prompting by spirit.  Not personally acquainted with Michael or Kelly before they passed.  Only hearing of their existence from a friend.  Now on the phone with me, relaying experiences of spirit connection.  The first occurring on the eve of the memorial golf tournament last June.  Spending the night with two friends.  Sleeping in a home with a connection to Kelly.  Waking to her legs being shaken.  With powerful energy.  Sitting up and noticing a young man standing at the foot of the bed.  Hearing him say, "I'm right here." Observing a young woman quietly standing nearby.  Understanding she was seeing Mike and Kelly.  People she had never met.  In the morning, discussing it with friends who had known the two.  Receiving confirmation about what she had surmised.  A second incident occurring last week.  A voice suggesting, "You need to talk to my mom." Again recognizing Mike.  Unsure of the reason behind the advise. Listening to her intuition.  Following through.  Not long into our conversation, understanding why.  Later, conveying a related incident to her.  Describing the experience my husband had around that time last year.  Being roused from his sleep.  By a voice speaking those exact same three words.  "I'm right here."  Feeling his son standing at the foot of the bed!  All of these occurrences showing further evidence of eternal existence.  These individuals open to experiencing it.  In love and light. 

The Illusion of Secrets

Attending a Celebration of Life for a fond old family friend a few days ago.  Passing after eight decades here on earth.  A man who had been part of my life since early childhood.  His family, my family and a third one spending so much time with each other.  Three newlywed couples immigrating to Canada as young adults.  Embarking on new lives here. Soon raising children together.  Resulting in three families closely intertwined.  Picnics, camping trips, sleepovers, house parties, and holidays together.  Then abruptly, eleven years later, contact ceasing between our family and the third one.  No longer allowed to play with their daughter.  Severing the relationship between our brothers as well. Confusing times.  No one explaining why.  Then decades later, experiencing a powerful vision while napping on the couch.  Shedding light on what had transpired.  Mentioning it to my mother.  She confirming the details.  Giving her an opportunity to share the hurt still felt by that betrayal.  Adultery.  A painful family secret revealed.  Now running into my former playmate at the service.  Seeing each other again for the first time in forty-four years.  Discussing the situation of broken ties.  She only now learning of the reason why.  The ripple affect of the choices made by those two individuals long ago still reverberating in the universe.  For any number of reasons, neither accepting full responsibility for those actions in this lifetime.  Perhaps caught up in the mighty illusion of secrets.  Obliging them to carry the weight of those decisions into subsequent incarnations.

Spa Time

A friend and I recently spending time together at an outdoor spa in the woods.  One year after our inaugural visit.  Luxuriating in three hours of pure relaxation.  Coexisting in silence.  Mindfully moving from one experience to another.  Enjoying a predominantly meditative state. Fully embracing the sensation of being, rather than doing.  Soaking in the pools.  Reposing in steam and sauna. Reclining in deck chairs beside the stone fire pit, bundled up in white terry robes.  Tears of gratitude rolling down my cheeks while reflecting on the abundance in my life. Later, some of sadness while lounging near the forest's edge.  Emotions mirroring the weather.  Billowing clouds, cool breezes, sunny breaks, and rain showers.  Observing a marked difference between this year's visit and last.  This time around achieving a much deeper sense of contentment and bliss.