Under, Over, and Intertwined

     Over the course of the four hour drive up to the cabin this past weekend, my husband and I encountered almost every type of weather imaginable - heavy rains, followed by hail, then snow, wind, drizzle, and finally, sunshine. Most impressive was driving directly under three vibrant rainbows, in short succession, with the ends of the arcs seeming to touch down just off either side of the highway. And as we wound our way through scenic Manning Park, a trip we have made well over a hundred times, I had an aha moment: the ski and snowboard terrain within this provincial park is located in an area called Gibson Pass. My son's last name intertwined with that of his closest friend, in this beautiful setting. A wonderful symbol of the Gibson and Manning connection - how had I not made this observation before? Come to think of it, I cross a span called Rainbow Bridge when walking along my favourite trail in that park. Under, over, and intertwined ... weaving rich moments into my life.
Image credit: unknown
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A Shift in Perspective

     As the countdown begins for the 5th annual Mike Gibson Memorial Golf tournament, the weight of the loss of my son begins to intensify. Last year, recognizing the emotional investment required to organize this event left me wondering how many more MGMG tourneys I had left in me. Most people would assume (as I would without this personal experience showing me otherwise) that as time goes by, the emotional impact lessens. It is simply not so. 
     Thankfully, last spring, while contemplating the situation, I began reframing the experience and adjusted my perspective, much like The Hanged Man in the Tarot deck. Were Michael still alive, I would have continued expending a great deal of emotional energy in our relationship. Now, instead of spreading it out over the year, outside of the obvious trigger dates, much of it is condensed into these weeks leading up to the tournament. Since I am still in a relationship with him, albeit on another level, I accept that my ramped up feelings are par for the course. Working on the MGMG tourney is a meaningful expression of our relationship and I embrace the opportunity to continue organizing many more.
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Miracle Log

     Serendipity, coincidence, happy chance event... words used to describe the small miracles that make our lives a little sweeter. Lucky for me, I experience them almost daily. Having a dream about a person I had not thought about for years, only to have someone else mention that same person the next morning. Looking for a small box of goofy sunglasses everywhere I thought it might be, then finding it later that day, within in a larger box marked 'small picture frames' which I had opened for an unrelated project of creating a photo wall. Receiving tickets, out of the blue, to a sold out event I had wanted to attend.

     One way to to help foster this awareness in children is to keep a Miracle Log available. I came across this idea while reading Spirit Games, a book by Barbara Sher. Whenever something serendipitous occurs, anyone in the family can log in by writing down what happened. It can also include the wish that preceded the event, if there was one. There seems to be a snowball affect - the more often these little miracles are noticed, the more often they appear. Keeping track of them can help bring children comfort and joy, and heaven knows, we all thrive when showered with frequent doses of both.

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Walk With Me

     Easter Sunday's forecast called for sunshine, so my husband and I took the short ferry ride over to Bowen Island for lunch and an easy hike around the lake. We had already celebrated early Easter with a family brunch on Good Friday, so our day was wide open.
     The last time we had visited Bowen together was in the spring of 2010, during our son's six week stay at The Orchard Recovery Centre. For six consecutive Saturdays, my husband and I travelled there to learn more about addiction and begin rebuilding relationships. After one of those sessions, the three of us had used our free time to walk around this very lake together. It was a memorable afternoon because, for the first time in a long time, we were speaking to each other from the heart, which stirred up many intense emotions, negative and positive. That year, Easter weekend fell during Michael's six week stay there, so this was an added layer my husband and I were now experiencing.
     All the emotions and memories now being triggered was not something I had foreseen at all. Thankfully, a mantra soon appeared - Walk with me. During each long in-breath, I silently expressed those words, and with each long out-breath, I slowly released the air in my lungs. I repeated this cycle as needed over the course of the hike, visualizing Michael's spirit walking with us now.
     Later that day, while approaching the dock for the return ferry, I looked up to see a lone, majestic eagle fly in, very low, directly overhead. I overheard the young, native woman walking behind me tell her friend, "In my culture this is a powerful spiritual symbol. My grandmother will be so happy when I tell her about this." For me, this eagle's appearance was an incredible sign of support. This trip certainly became much more than I had anticipated ... it turned out to be the perfect way to connect with our son on this Easter Sunday.
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