Name-Twin Milestones

     

     Within days of each other, long time name-twin friends of Mike and Kelly celebrated huge milestones in their lives - his close friend Mike got married, and her best friend Kelly became a mother. A mountain wedding, where I had the privilege of performing the ceremony, and the birth of a baby girl whom I look forward to meeting soon. This Mike and this Kelly are living life to the fullest, and it makes my heart sing to see them both put heaps of love and effort into creating lives worth living.

     Of course, it is also during times like these where my mind plays with the what-ifs: What if my Mike and his Kelly were still alive ... what would their lives look like now? Would there have been a wedding to enjoy, a birth to celebrate? Observing their close friends' milestones is always bittersweet, but the double name-twin element this time around temporarily added a little weight. However, staying connected to so many of their friends enriches my life deeply and it is a gift for which I am very grateful. And of course, I know that as their good friends celebrate love and life, Mike and Kelly's spirits are right there with them, enthusiastically cheering them on! 
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Gifts of Sweet Moments

     

     Within the past 48 hours, I have been blessed with having three different people spontaneously share reminders of Michael with me. Considering it has been 6 1/2 years since he died, it is not common for me to hear this many references to him within such a short time. I cherish every precious moment and memory of Michael that friends continue to share. Receiving three so close together is a windfall.
     Two days ago, a close friend of mine texted to say that she was preparing to leave for her highway drive to the Okanagan, where she would be celebrating Christmas with her family. She told me that after lifting her suitcase off the dining room chair, she had pushed the chair back under the table and found a feather lying on the floor under the table. She said that for her, it was a sign that "someone" was wishing her a safe ride up.
     Later that same day, during dinner with another long time friend, who happens to work at Contact Printing, I was told that the microwave at the shop had stopped working this week, and that she and two of her coworkers had remembered that Michael had bought it used off Craigslist for the staff kitchen, about a year before he died.
     Then yesterday, a good friend of Mike's sent me a photo via Messenger that he thought I might like to see. It showed my son during his grade 12 year, seated in a semicircle with five of his friends, celebrating someones birthday.
     Today, our family will gather at Boal Memorial to decorate the little Christmas tree. Despite the cold, rainy weather, we'll hang ornaments, light the candles, and sing some carols while sending loving thoughts to Mike and Kelly. And through it all, I will feel buoyed by the gifts of these sweet reminders of my son.
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Pure Bliss

Rather than celebrating just the one day, this year I enjoyed an entire week of Mother's Day celebrations. Some were pre-planned events, others, spontaneous. I was able to keep chores, errands, and shoulds to a minimum, then upped the self-care, pampering quotient. Adding in decadent activities that I would generally spread out over the course of many months, made for an incredible Mother's Day week.  

Monday: boot camp followed by an hour-long massage
Tuesday: hanging out with my precious grandkids 
Wednesday: seabus excursion with my granddaughter, exploring public art downtown and introducing her to drinking chocolate
Thursday: forest run, then lunch out with my older daughter and granddaughter, followed by a mani/pedi
Friday: rainy hike in the canyon with a neighbour, followed by a facial and a little shopping
Saturday: home yoga practice to the music of 'Jesus Christ Superstar', then dinner at the home of long time friends
Sunday: morning walk with my husband, followed by late lunch with my younger daughter

Seven luxurious days, including loads of one-on-one time with family. Pure bliss. I am extremely thankful to have enjoyed such an indulgent week. It definitely made it easier to bear the absence of my son today, and my well has been refilled.
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MGMG 2015

     Wrapping up another successful Mike Gibson Memorial Golf tournament, I reflect on this amazing event. Such an enthusiastic repeat turnout, as well as the opportunity to welcome new faces. The commitment to show up, on all levels (body, mind and spirit), is remarkable. One of Mike's friends left his job site in Saskatchewan the previous day, driving seventeen hours to take part. Another young man made the four hour drive up to the cabin the day of, played golf, then drove home that same evening. One couple makes the trip out from Alberta every year. Numerous participants have attended all five tournaments, and many make it a three day affair. All this speaks to the level of dedication people have towards continuing to honour Mike and Kelly. Coming together to share memories, create new ones, celebrate life and love, as well as raise money for Canuck Place Children's Hospice is what the MGMG tourney is all about. This year, we will donate $4153 ($19,682 to date), and since the Conconi Foundation is matching our donation in full, Canuck Place will actually realize $8306 for our efforts - wow! 

     It’s been just over four years since Michael and Kelly left us - we miss them something fierce. But life does go on, and we embrace that. We celebrated a birthday, toasted newlyweds, and enjoyed the energy of four little ones, three and under. Witnessing the outpouring of love and the commitment of their family, friends, and friends of friends, Mike and Kelly's hearts are surely overflowing, as well.

www.diaryofanintuitive.com
June 30/15 - Thanks to last minute donation of $100, our donation amount is $4253 ( $19,782 to date)

Celebrations for Generations

Family and friends, young and old, came out to celebrate my grandson's first birthday yesterday. Such a lucky little boy! Within his extended family, ages ranged from his newest second cousin, born just last month, to the great-grandfather celebrating ninety-one next month. On this day, a snapshot of my grandson's family included his parents, sister, grandparents, great-grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. This gathering reminded me that often, when we hear the word family, we think of a fixed group - usually, but not always, consisting of our living relatives. Of course, when we take a moment to consider, we know that family more accurately refers to a fluid group. We understand that family continually shifts with each gain and each loss. 

Leaping far ahead, if it is his destiny, in ninety years my grandson will be the age his great-grandfather is now, and it is quite possible that not one of my grandson's relatives in attendance yesterday will be around. Morbid thought? Not really. The love and support he received from all those attending the party will remain with him, always. And hopefully, all his future celebrations will be just as magnificent as this one was.

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Celebrating Love and Life

That was the best MGMG tournament yet.  Taking place on a warm, sunny day miraculously sandwiched in-between one and half days of steady rain with cool temperatures on either side.  Surpassing our fundraising goal by donating $4611 to Canuck Place Children's Hospice.  Inviting new people into the fold.  Delighting in the sweet energy of an increasing number of little ones present.  Experiencing an abundance of hugs, laughs, and stories, along with some tears, as well. Friends and family not missing Mike and Kelly any less, but honouring them both by celebrating love and life, fully.  Go us!

MGMG 2014

Plans are well underway for next month's 4th Annual Mike Gibson Memorial Golf (MGMG) tournament and it's shaping up to be another great weekend of festivities up at the cabin. Attracting new attendees, including a few rookie beginners ready to try their hand at golf. Receiving offers of donations for the fundraising aspect. Support for this event is strong as ever from friends, family, and acquaintances. Young and old committed to having fun, raising money for Canuck Place Children's Hospice, and most importantly, staying connected by spending this time with each other. We are so fortunate. 

Three Years In

Hi Michael,
   Mom here. Three years in, and it's still so hard living with this experience of a mother losing a child. No doubt there have been difficult circumstances in previous lives as well, but still, this is a tough one. I miss you so much.

   How are you doing? Are you considering coming back soon or do you need more time? I have no idea what the space between lives looks like. Maybe you'll still be there when I return.

   Thank you for continuing to stay close and helping me see the signs. The need to know you are near is still strong. I know you were watching earlier this week while I played some of your favourite music, loudly. A playlist compiled by your friends, largely made up of songs I had not heard before your death. I felt deeply connected to you while listening to the lyrics, which had spoken to you, and were now speaking to me. And once my tears had given way to dancing, I could see you smiling, and dancing too.
Love Mom ♥ 

Spontaneous Support

While running errands in the Village yesterday, I stopped in at the local wine merchant.  The staff were offering wine tastings, which is always a treat.  After enjoying samples and purchasing a bottle, I was making my way to the door when a woman suddenly left the tasting area to come over and speak with me.  She told me how much she had enjoyed reading my book and the insights shared therein.  She mentioned that her daughter and my son had been high school friends, then went on to ask how I was doing.  After chatting for a few more minutes, I thanked this stranger for taking the time to have this conversation, and how deeply I appreciated hearing that she valued the book.  It was a brief, yet meaningful, encounter.  Spontaneous moments of support such as this mean so much.  Receiving evidence that Diary of an Intuitive is making an impact, is divine.

Another Grave to Tend

This week, I was informed via snail mail from Germany, that an uncle of mine had passed two days before Christmas.  Sadly, he had smoked himself to death.  He and I were not very close.  Outside my handful of visits there, we had little contact.  Through my aunt's annual Christmas cards, I received updates on their lives.  And even though they were well off, it is likely that she would have considered it an unnecessary extravagance to give me the news of his passing via a long distance call.  And computers are not part of her world.  This aunt, now in her mid-seventies, is no stranger to grief.  She was a four-year-old child when her father died. As a young mother, she had buried her baby boy within days of his birth.  Some years later, her mother passed.  Then, nearly twelve years ago, she experienced the loss of her only sibling, my mother.  Now, with her only child living a fair distance away, and without any friends to speak of, she will understandably feel very alone. I hope she finds comfort in her religious beliefs, as well as support from her church.  And, as she continues taking her daily stroll to the cemetery across the street, to tend yet another grave, I hope she feels the presence of her God walking with her.

The Sum of Its Parts

It has been eleven days since I last posted here, by far the longest spell between entries since I began this blog thirty-three months ago. During this past week, each time I sat down to write, I kept thinking that I could address one or two of the numerous instances of positive feedback the book was receiving.  I would get stuck - there were, and continue to be, so many examples to choose from.  Friends, family, acquaintances, the community at large, as well as complete strangers are responding to the book as I hoped they would - with open hearts.  When I sat down this afternoon to again ponder a possible blog entry, I reflected on the overarching themes of love, support, and gratitude.  It then became clear.  Rather than trying to focus on just a couple of specific examples, it was easier to address the sum of its parts.  Each of the individual acts are expanding our collective energies of love and gratitude.  Love and gratitude, the two words found inside the open heart on the book's front cover.

Labyrinth Insights

Located in a dark gym, last week's solstice labyrinth was erected using seven hundred small paper bags, each containing a candle, placed about a foot apart on the floor.  I entered the complex, winding route with one simple intention: to be open to receive.  Proceeding with clear mind, soft gaze and measured steps, the poignant insights and appreciated reminders arrived.   
✪ There are many lights in my life including my husband, daughters, son-in-laws, granddaughter, brother, good friends, and extended family. 
✪  Michael's light and mine both shine brightly enough to touch each other, and in this way, we are never apart. 
✪ Passing by the people walking towards me along this path full of twists and turns, I was reminded that we are all proceeding towards enlightenment at our own pace, in our own way.
✪ One light is of great value and able to make a huge difference, however, many lights functioning together have the potential to create something greater than the sum of its parts. 
Halfway through this walking meditation I intuitively brought my hands together in prayer, and held them thus 'til the end, symbolizing connection to all, visible and invisible - to the others in the room, to those who had gone before me, to those yet to come.  Our lights were all shining together, producing one bigger and brighter light. Upon leaving, I felt gratitude for the numerous volunteers who had conceived, produced, and administered this labyrinth.  The vibrational rates of the hundreds and hundreds of people wandering this path were raised, helping to elevate humanity as a whole.  Returning outdoors, I felt connected to all that is, and today, I hold this experience in my soul as I prepare to step into the new year. 

Champagne Birthday

My official 'Champagne Birthday' occurred when I turned two, well before I knew of such a thing.  Not wanting to miss an opportunity to imbibe this exquisite beverage, I decided to celebrate another version of this event, based on the year, rather than the day.  Even going so far as to pack two flutes in the trailer before we left.  Born in '56, I am raising a glass of bubbly to turning 56 today.  A virtual toast to my family and friends - thank you for being the best gifts in my life!

What's in a Name?

Many of my younger friends and acquaintances are welcoming little ones into the world.  Such an exciting time.  Early on, one of the big decisions is choosing a suitable name.  When our baby boy was born, all those years ago, we settled on Michael James Gibson, ten days later.  As he grew older, most of his family and friends began using the shorter form, Mike.  However, I made a point of calling him Michael.  When he was in his mid-teens, I explained why.  The two versions of the name each have their own unique energies, and consequently, affect personality and character differently.  Going by Mike potentially means having a harder time of it, versus answering to Michael.  Obviously, there are many factors outside of a person's first name, impacting one's life path.  Nonetheless, when I discovered this information, I decided it couldn’t hurt.  When recently flipping through the book describing all this in detail, I noticed the name Kelly listed in the same classification as Mike.  Out of a possible 81 distinct categories, including 1058 culturally diverse names, these two were in a group of a dozen monikers, sharing identical energetic influences.  Another curious coincidence in the lives of those two. 

Integrating Ideas and Choices

Off on an extended road trip.  My husband and I leaving to explore southwestern regions of the USA.  Bob's Idea; the impetus behind this adventure, as well as the name of our newly acquired trailer. Happy to go along for the ride.  With the understanding that I will be flying home without him a couple of times during this journey, in order to visit my granddaughter.  Before departing, mentioning this aspect of the expedition to others.  Unexpectedly, meeting up with bewilderment on occasion.  Some friends, even close relatives, unable to fathom this personal requirement.  Knowing me to be someone who has loved extensive travel in the past.  However, I am currently finding long trips away unappealing.  Open to the possibility that this may change in the future.  Confidently making the choice that makes sense in the present. 

Reconnecting

Attending a funeral at Boal Memorial last Tuesday.  For the mother of one of Mike and Kelly's good friends.  First time back in that chapel since Michael's service.  So many familiar faces.  Seeing Kelly's family, along with numerous young men and women experiencing that great loss last year.  Personally finding great comfort in reconnecting with them all.  Despite the sad circumstances.  Then later, flowers in hand, walking up the pathway into the forest alone.  Towards the two plaques positioned side by side on the wall.  Surprised and thoroughly heartened by the sight of so many of Kelly and Mike's friends already there. Followed by many more joining in.  Recounting stories.  Some tears. And laughter.  Punctuated by quiet reflection.  All acutely feeling loss. Then one young woman reaching down to the ground.  Picking up a penny lying beside a pot of flowers.  Directly in front of the plaques. Holding up the coin to show me.  The two of us shaking our heads in amazement.  Sharing a smile.  Recognizing and appreciating the ongoing marvels.

We ♥ U

Driving up to the cabin again.  Only our second time this year.  That familiar underlying apprehension gaining momentum while nearing Princeton.  Then rounding that bend.  Approaching the cross.  Spotting huge bursts of colour around the base.  Curiosity quickly replacing the anxiety.  Drawing closer to see a multitude of brilliant silk flowers. What a magnificent surprise.  Stopping the car to take it all in.  Various shades of yellow, blue, pink, orange, red, and purple.  Artfully arranged blossoms around a purple and yellow hand painted sign.  We ♥ U Kelly + Mike.  Their friend creating a lasting expression of her feelings.  Not Rest in Peace or You are Missed.  Choosing to focus on love instead.  Uplifting energy to counter some of the sadness.  The ripple effect of this heartfelt gesture impacting others.  The two of us turning to smile at each other.  And carrying on with lighter hearts.

Embodiment of Love

Dearest Kelly, you were the living embodiment of love.  Reflected in your warm smile and expressive eyes.  Readily felt by anyone in your presence.  Today marks the passing of an entire year without you.  Such a beautiful person greatly missed by so very many.  Friends and family trying to adjust to living with the void left behind.  Necessitating the creation of a revised connection to you.  Seeking comfort in the numerous memories alive in our hearts and minds.  Feeling uplifted when recognizing the loving signs that continue to appear.  Enabling us to stay linked with your spirit forever.

Discovering the Courage

In conversation with one of Michael's friends recently.  She also struggling with darkness and suicidal thoughts.  Just as my son had for years.  Genetically predisposed to both depression and addiction.  Then having them triggered by life experiences.  Further aggravated by the stigma and misconceptions still sadly surrounding these issues. Encouraging the keeping of secrets and resulting feelings of shame.  All combining to create trying situations.  Personal challenges. Innumerable versions of these existing in varying degrees for each one of us.  Choosing particular lessons before incarnating.  Leading to opportunities for spiritual growth.  Remembering this assists with discovering the courage required to face the trials.  Enabling one to make advantageous decisions.   Towards a lighter and more joy filled existence.

Ouija Concern

Running errands in a historic part of our city.  Spotting a quaint shop filled to the rafters with curios and antiques.  Stepping inside to discover a Ouija board resting on a shelf amid the clutter.  Feelings of concern instantly flooding in.  Vividly recalling a personal experience with this divining tool.  Ignorantly using it with adverse affects.  Leaving me with uncomfortable results.  Exactly twenty years ago, during a weekend away with a group of women friends.  Only learning of the recommendation to stay away from this low form of channelling after the fact.  Definitely not a game to be played with.  Hoping the board for sale in this store lingers there forever.