Who, What, and Where?

     I try to imagine what you would look like, were you here to celebrate your 35th birthday today. How would your face have aged over the years? I wonder what your life might be like. Where you might live. What kind of job you might have. Would you be a husband, a father? Would your loves still include playing golf and snowboarding? What might your new interests be? All of these questions, and more, float around in my mind. Never to be answered, of course. Just wondering ... that's all.  

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Name-Twin Milestones

     

     Within days of each other, long time name-twin friends of Mike and Kelly celebrated huge milestones in their lives - his close friend Mike got married, and her best friend Kelly became a mother. A mountain wedding, where I had the privilege of performing the ceremony, and the birth of a baby girl whom I look forward to meeting soon. This Mike and this Kelly are living life to the fullest, and it makes my heart sing to see them both put heaps of love and effort into creating lives worth living.

     Of course, it is also during times like these where my mind plays with the what-ifs: What if my Mike and his Kelly were still alive ... what would their lives look like now? Would there have been a wedding to enjoy, a birth to celebrate? Observing their close friends' milestones is always bittersweet, but the double name-twin element this time around temporarily added a little weight. However, staying connected to so many of their friends enriches my life deeply and it is a gift for which I am very grateful. And of course, I know that as their good friends celebrate love and life, Mike and Kelly's spirits are right there with them, enthusiastically cheering them on! 
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Champagne Birthday

My official 'Champagne Birthday' occurred when I turned two, well before I knew of such a thing.  Not wanting to miss an opportunity to imbibe this exquisite beverage, I decided to celebrate another version of this event, based on the year, rather than the day.  Even going so far as to pack two flutes in the trailer before we left.  Born in '56, I am raising a glass of bubbly to turning 56 today.  A virtual toast to my family and friends - thank you for being the best gifts in my life!

Birthday Presence

Dear Kelly,
As your father and brothers celebrate yours and your twin's birthday this weekend, I call upon you to draw in close.  That they may feel your presence and know you are there with them.  To remind them that you will always be part of the family.  As for me, I am so glad you were born and in my life.  Such strength, compassion, love, and optimism.  Thank you for being you.   
All my love,
Vera

Mother's Day

Everywhere I turn, I notice the promotions for this upcoming Mother's Day.  They arrive as flyers in my home, ads in the newspaper, commercials on television and radio, and on signage in retail locations.  I have always enjoyed celebrating this special day, without much fanfare but always with sincerity.  To commemorate my first Mother's Day in 1982, a beautiful card arrived in the mail from my best friend, who is also my oldest daughter's godmother.  What a simple but thoughtful gesture.  Over the years, there have been homemade brunches, flowers, drawings, cards, and occasional small gifts.  Being a mother continually challenges me to dig deep and as a result, I become a stronger, more compassionate, and courageous human being. Throughout this past week, I have once again been given the opportunity to practice staying focused on now.  When my mind begins to drift ahead and think about this coming Mother's Day without my son,  I become anxious, overwhelmingly sad, and feel a hole in my heart.  On Sunday I will be sharing dinner with my family, lovingly prepared by my daughters and their husbands, and for that I am so very grateful.  I am still my son's mother, I will always be his mother, and all the experiences of these past twenty nine years of being a mother will help me celebrate this first Mother's Day without him the best I can.