Pure and Precious Moments

After spending a few hours playing with Kennedy, as well as cuddling her, feeding her, bathing her, and kissing her a thousand times over, here I sit, writing in my daughter's home.  Happily babysitting. The only sounds, other than the clicking of the keyboard, are ones of breathing.  Here in the family room, mine, and those of the two dogs curled up on their cushions before me.  Via the baby monitor, those my granddaughter makes while sleeping upstairs in her crib.  Feeling blessed to be passing my Saturday night this way.  With a full heart, experiencing life's most pure and precious moments.  Smiling as I consider how amusing it would be trying to explain this to my younger self.  

If I Seem Distracted

If I do not smile when passing by, forgive me.  If I do not make eye contact, it is not about you.  If I seem distracted, bear with me. Currently putting all my effort into just keeping it together.  Holding on 'til Wednesday passes.  Focusing on mindful breathing.  Meditating. Meeting up with a friend.  And definitely stopping at the florist on the way home.  Buying myself some flowers. 

Glorious Day

Taking our time.  Enjoying a magnificent fall drive to the cabin. Sunshine highlighting the vibrant colours along the way.  Stopping for lunch in Hope rather than just driving through.  Then on to Manning Park.  Bundling up for a peaceful walk around one of the many lakes.   Inhaling the crisp mountain air.  Light dusting of snow underfoot. Spotting several chipmunks and birds going about their day.  Hearing the powerful whoosh of a bald eagle's wings overhead.  Stopping briefly at the memorial just because.  Breathing through the emotions. Arriving at our destination shortly before dusk.  Witnessing a family of deer grazing along the shore.  All in all, a glorious day.

Four Short Words

My son is dead.  Four short words.  By far the most difficult ones ever expressed in all these fifty-four years.  This phrase often jumping uninvited into my thoughts.  Regardless of what may be going on at the time. Heart tightening immediately.  Breathing more laboured.  Tears forming.  Understanding the truth of these words failing to prevent this visceral reaction.  An aspect of my being still frequently shocked by them.  Patience and compassion my allies in this.

Peacefully Coexisting

Another warm summer evening.  Attended an outdoor concert by the sea.  Two young musicians sharing their talents.  Went alone, but felt connected.  Followed by an impromptu late dinner nearby with one of my daughters.  Later, relaxing back home on the patio.  Breathing in the stillness and solitude by candlelight.  Soon interrupted by the sounds of a bear plodding along the small creek behind the hedge.  Mere metres away.  With its strong sense of smell.   Each of us knowing the other was there.  No fear.  Peacefully coexisting.