Love and Gratitude

Two stockings now hang by the fireplace, my husband's and mine.  After some discussion, we decided to reinstate this tradition, having given it a pass last year.  There is some ambivalence here for me;  I am glad that we are brave enough to try this out, but experience a pang in my heart each time I notice the one that is not here.  Much of today will be spent lovingly preparing Christmas Eve dinner for the sixteen of us celebrating here tonight.  However, there is also time set aside for meditation this afternoon, ensuring that I connect on that deeper level with my son.  Later, two special candles will be lit -  ones standing sentry beside a photo of Michael and Kelly.  And as these emotionally charged days unfold,  I will continue to focus on gratitude and the abundance of love.  This is what nourishes me and enables joy to shine through.

Modifying Traditions

Filling Christmas stockings.  Truly the highlight of gift giving for me. Beginning in the fall.  Sourcing the ideal items for each family member. A collection of humorous, luxurious, and practical ones.  Wrapping up each little treasure.  All leisurely taking turns Christmas morning. Opening them one by one.  The girls spending the past couple of Christmas mornings with their husbands.  As they should. Establishing their own traditions.  So it had come down to the three of us.  Michael, my husband and I.  Diesel enthusiastically joining in.  Thoroughly enjoying ourselves.  This season, deciding against hanging the stockings for just us two.  Not keen on dealing with the emptiness that would so obviously be sitting there with us.  Simply because of how it came to be. Choosing to give it a pass this time around.  Open to reinstating that tradition in the future.  Understanding that eventually this is how it would have been.  However, this year planning to go snowshoeing instead.