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Within days of each other, long time name-twin friends of Mike and Kelly celebrated huge milestones in their lives - his close friend Mike got married, and her best friend Kelly became a mother. A mountain wedding, where I had the privilege of performing the ceremony, and the birth of a baby girl whom I look forward to meeting soon. This Mike and this Kelly are living life to the fullest, and it makes my heart sing to see them both put heaps of love and effort into creating lives worth living.
Of course, it is also during times like these where my mind plays with the what-ifs: What if my Mike and his Kelly were still alive ... what would their lives look like now? Would there have been a wedding to enjoy, a birth to celebrate? Observing their close friends' milestones is always bittersweet, but the double name-twin element this time around temporarily added a little weight. However, staying connected to so many of their friends enriches my life deeply and it is a gift for which I am very grateful. And of course, I know that as their good friends celebrate love and life, Mike and Kelly's spirits are right there with them, enthusiastically cheering them on!
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Eighteen months in and still, most moments in my day are filtered through the lens of losing my son. Thankfully, a little less frequently, and for the most part, with reduced intensity. Two recent experiences in particular come to mind. Both nonevents to an outsider, yet milestones for me. Firstly, the entire twenty-four hours of August 7th passed without registering the significance of that date at all. The first time, since March 7th, when I did not reflect upon a one month marker. Largely due to being out of the country and in a completely different time zone. While observing this the following morning, I was enheartened. Pleasantly surprised. Secondly, later that month, after an evening of exploring Zurich with a Swiss friend, I returned to my hotel room. It was only then when I realized that not once had I thought of the loss during that entire six hour excursion. The longest stretch by far during this year and a half. In both cases, it was recognizing the absence of something that left me feeling encouraged. Seeing what was not there. Experiencing opposite sides of the same coin. This coin most definitely a penny.
Seven months now. Some milestones passed. Others yet to come. The flow of each day still very much up and down, in and out. Going along for the ride to the best of my ability. So looking forward to this weekend away. A tradition started three years ago. Celebrating Thanksgiving Gambier Island style. Games to play, dogs to walk, and a bountiful turkey dinner to share. Above all, time simply spent in each other's company. So much to be thankful for.
