A Hummingbird's Gifts

December 6th.  This date eliciting happy childhood memories of annual Nikolaus celebrations, together with other German speaking families. Today, unpacking Christmas boxes, while holding my granddaughter in my arms.  Sorting through countless ornaments and decorations.  Coming across my son's stocking.  Wondering what I might do with it. Something or nothing?  Trying to keep the anxiety at bay.  Focusing on the beauty in my life.  Then, glancing out the kitchen window.  Noticing a precious hummingbird landing on the nearby feeder.  These exquisite birds symbolizing so much.  Incorporated into legends and myths throughout the Americas.  When in flight, wingtips tracing out the infinity sign.  Messengers between worlds, representing immortality. Bringing uplifting energies of hope, joy, healing, and love.  This tiny creature filling my heart, and nourishing my spirit.   Sharing treasured gifts by its mere presence.

Divine Illumination

Waking with lingering impressions of a particularly clear and poignant dream.  In it, travelling with the trailer, just as we currently are.  However, in this scenario, stopping en route for a short layover at our cabin.  Running into one of Michael's friends who actually lives in that area.  Asking me if he and a buddy could spend the night with us, in our cottage.  Explaining that it is a little too hectic at his family's home right now.  Replying, "Of course, anytime."  Sensing this young man's compassionate nature, while receiving his  big bear hug from behind.  He wanting to know how I was doing.  Assuring him that I was well, and thanking him for inquiring.  A short time later, all of us relaxing around the fire outdoors.  Soon after,  his sister unexpectedly stopping by with a gift.  Extending her hand, and offering me a ring.  Mentioning that when first spotting it, she had instantly known it was meant for me.  A perfect, round stone, mounted upon a smooth gold band.  Somewhat pearl-like in appearance.  Its lower half, slate grey in colour.  The upper portion, glowing brilliant white.  Immediately understanding the powerful symbolism.  Even with, or possibly due to, underlying darkness, there exists in life an equal measure of beauty and light.  This dream casting divine illumination on the day ahead. 

Candlelight Magic

The beauty of candlelight.  Simply magical.  Surrounding myself with it as often as possible.  Especially this time of year.  More than thirty candles placed in the living/dining area alone.  Creating an enchanting ambiance.  Not reserved for special occasions.  Enjoying their bewitching flames daily.  Down the hall, an entire pine cabinet dedicated to this endeavour.  Storing additional tapers, pillars and tea lights, along with numerous holders.  Affectionately known as The Candle Cupboard.  These candles providing such warmth and splendour.  Breathing life into the darkness.

Parallel Celebrations

Vivid imagination or a glimpse into the other?  Rather than focusing on loved ones not being here to celebrate with us, turning it around. Broadening the perspective.  Picturing their spirits having an amazing time of it where they are.  Seeing the possibility of parallel celebrations. Their experience filled with such depth and beauty.  They occasionally pausing to look over at us with loving hearts.  Wishing we could be there with them to feel that magnificence.  Reminding themselves that for now, this is how it must be.  That we all take turns moving back and forth between these versions.   Taking great care not to diminish the joyfulness of their festivities.  Understanding how disrespectful that would be. 

Pure and Simple

A moment infused with tranquility and contentment.  Across the lake, early morning sunlight streams onto the hillside.  Mesmerized by the magnificence.  Another day full of possibilities and potential.  In this beauty, the tears fall.  My body expressing the layer of grief that can only be processed on the physical level.  Regardless of time spent intellectualizing the situation or focusing on the spiritual aspect, there is energy still needing to be released.  This not negating the presence of the glorious day before me.  Pure and simple.

Beauty in Dying

Fall equinox.  A new season begins.  Fresh crisp apples.  Juice droplets spraying out with every bite.  The comfort of a favourite sweater. Providing warmth against the cooler air.  Leaves soon to be piled high. Perfect for jumping into.  Moments of pure pleasure.  The most poignant aspect of fall, however, lying in its colours.  Those brilliant hues of oranges, yellows and reds.  Leaves embarking on the last leg of their journey.  Glorious to behold.  Impressed by the magnificence of this transformation.  Reviving a long held awareness that beauty can be found in dying.

Two Weddings and a Funeral

2009, the year our family and friends joined together on a beach in West Vancouver for a fabulous celebration of our daughter Kate's marriage to Scott.  2010 gave us all yet another opportunity to gather and rejoice at our daughter Stephanie's marriage to Brook, on the rocky shores of the Sunshine Coast. 2011, the year our family is joined in a North Vancouver forest by all who knew him, to celebrate and honour our son Michael.  There may not be the happiness and joy today that we felt during those previous occasions,  but I do know that the beauty, love and support will definitely be there.  

Strength and Beauty

Today I awoke to a cool and sunny morning, with snow covered mountains, and a gentle breeze blowing through the trees. What a contrast to the storm that blew through last night with it's lightening, thunder, wind and snow. Add to that mix a full moon and we had an enormous amount of powerful energy swirling in and around us. I will focus on carrying all that strength and beauty within me today so that I may be my best self for whatever comes my way.