Mountain Pose

Practicing Mountain Pose upon a mountain top ... pure bliss.  A local mountain hosted a free event Saturday afternoon, consisting of a rainy nature walk, followed by a tranquil yoga class. After wandering through old growth forest, our group of thirty arrived at the mystical Hiwus Feasthouse. Once inside, we settled ourselves on the mats, which had been placed in a circle around the stone fire pit. After an hour of various yoga poses, it was time for Savasana. Smelling the cedar, hearing the silence, feeling the peace ... absolute perfection. While resting in this final pose, I recognized the powerful combination of the four elements of matter at play here. Lying grounded on the Earth, there was Fire burning in the centre, Water raining down onto the roof, and with each breath, awareness of Air moving in and out of our bodies. All this led to experiencing the fifth element, the one that exists beyond the material world, often referred to as Void or Sky. Pure heaven. Thank you Grouse Mountain and Yyoga for your generous gift of this experience. The exquisite setting, inspiring instructor, and lovely group of participants all made for an incredible event.  
Photo credit: Grouse Mountain 
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The Trickster Known as Time

While resting in Savasana pose during my recent yoga class, I was hovering in that blissful state of in between - aware of my body, yet simultaneously experiencing my pure spirit form. While in this state, I always feel extremely close to my son. On this particular evening, as an added bonus, I was reminded of how changeable our perception of time can be depending on our situation, and I instantly understood why I needed this reminder.
There are moments in my life when I fleetingly wish it was time to leave my body completely behind and fully return to the realm of pure spirit because it feels daunting when I consider the possibility of living with the loss of my son for an additional thirty years or more. Ah, the trickster known as Time - it continues to play games.
When we are young, we often look ahead, wishing we were just that little bit older. The ten-year-old thinking that if only he were thirteen, how wonderful life would be - a high school student with no need for babysitters, along with permission to venture further afield with friends. The thirteen-year-old wishing she were sixteen, offering the independence of driving, as well as greater opportunity for part-time jobs. The seventeen-year-old looking ahead to being twenty-one, imagining free reign to fully enjoy the privileges that come with that age. In each of these scenarios, the space that exists between the current self and the future self looms large. Of course, as we age, our vantage point shows us just how fleeting each stage of life really is. To take it one step further, an entire lifetime, when held up against all the lives one has already lived and those yet to come, happens in the blink of an eye. Yoga and meditation, once again, lovingly nudge my focus to the present.

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Peeling Back the Layers

Last week's yoga class left me feeling quite undone.  Rather than returning home in the usual state of gratitude and contentment, I encountered a crushingly difficult, grief-filled evening instead.  That overwhelming sense of loss dominated much of the following day as well.  This was a first - yoga had never had that affect on me.  Upon reflection, I realized that my grief had been triggered by the teacher's suggestion that we each set an intention for class.  After some deliberation, I had silently asked for a hug from Michael.  Of course, my rational mind knew that was physically impossible.  However, another part of me entertained the notion that the hug may come in the form of spirit connection.  Alas, in Savasana pose at the end of the class, I recognized that neither had occurred, and the tears flowed.  I was again reminded that a physical hug from my son would never occur. Obviously this was not new information, so what was going on?  Why such an intense response?  Perhaps it was the perfect time for me to access yet another layer of grief.  My mind, body, and soul were in that deeply connected state of existence, allowing for further penetration of reality. Peeling back the layers.  Like in the onion analogy often referred to with regards to personal growth.  I wonder how many layers this onion has. 

Pink and Gold Bruised Heart

Coming up on twelve months.  Searching for the word to best describe this mother's heart.  Some in this situation referring to theirs as being scarred.  Implying lack of hope for further healing.  Personally not to viewing it that way.  Neither wounded nor damaged accurately expressing it either.  Earlier this week, settling on bruised.  A piece of my heart now feeling deeply and severely bruised.  Along with the expected corresponding ache and vulnerability.  Likely both lifelong companions.  Fully accepting that.  The greater part of my heart still thoroughly capable of giving and receiving love.  Then a couple of days ago, experiencing an added dimension.  During yoga, in Savasana, with mind's eye fully opened.  Perceiving an abundance of soft pink energy infusing my heart.  Interspersed with swirling strands of gold. Filling the space beyond capacity.  Flowing in and out in every direction.  Once again, witnessing the spiritual body supporting the emotional and physical ones.  With the powerful energies of light and love. 

Corpse Pose

During the last pose in a hatha yoga class.  Often it is here where the wisdom is heard.  Sanskrit name, Savasana.  The sound of the word itself relaxing.  Shaaavaaasaaanaaa - ahhh.  English translation, Corpse pose.  Lying on one's back with legs and arms resting outward at a slight angle, eyes closed.  Where relaxation permeates my entire being.  In this blissful meditative state, the awareness arrived.  Making the connection that some seek to create this extraordinary experience through the use of alcohol, drugs, and other mind altering agents.  This choice often followed by detrimental, and even potentially fatal side effects.  Contrast that with Savasana.  An opportunity for a natural 'high'.  Opening one to numerous possible side effects as well. Such as feeling infused with a deep sense of calm and contentment.   Being reminded of one's connection to all that is.  Experiencing the blurring of the lines between here and there.  All free.  All good.

Yoga in Colour

Yoga allows me to have some amazing insights and understanding. During one of my hatha classes, I saw in my mind's eye our group doing each pose as a colour - we were the colour! We were no longer separate physical bodies posing but rather together our energies were expressing themselves in colour. In one pose, we were cotton candy pink, in another baby blue, followed by one in taupe, and many more. At the end of the class in Savasana, we were all about one inch (3cms) wide turquoise and silver ribbons floating in and out of each other - beautiful!