Peeling Back the Layers

Last week's yoga class left me feeling quite undone.  Rather than returning home in the usual state of gratitude and contentment, I encountered a crushingly difficult, grief-filled evening instead.  That overwhelming sense of loss dominated much of the following day as well.  This was a first - yoga had never had that affect on me.  Upon reflection, I realized that my grief had been triggered by the teacher's suggestion that we each set an intention for class.  After some deliberation, I had silently asked for a hug from Michael.  Of course, my rational mind knew that was physically impossible.  However, another part of me entertained the notion that the hug may come in the form of spirit connection.  Alas, in Savasana pose at the end of the class, I recognized that neither had occurred, and the tears flowed.  I was again reminded that a physical hug from my son would never occur. Obviously this was not new information, so what was going on?  Why such an intense response?  Perhaps it was the perfect time for me to access yet another layer of grief.  My mind, body, and soul were in that deeply connected state of existence, allowing for further penetration of reality. Peeling back the layers.  Like in the onion analogy often referred to with regards to personal growth.  I wonder how many layers this onion has. 

The Power of Intention

Thankful for this week's occurrence of receiving nocturnal wisdom. Gaining understanding by way of clear, concise information.  Not dreaming.  No interpretation required.  Rather, having a sense of tapping into the universe's vault of knowledge.  Regarding my relationship with a loved one.  Where frustration had been building. Feeling confused on how to deal with it.  Deciding to take time for meditation.  Specifically, asking for clarity on achieving resolution. While sleeping later that night, fully experiencing the information, not just seeing it.  Finding myself placed in a frustrating situation.  Actually walking the path to unhappiness and dismay.  Then, being repositioned to the beginning of exactly the same scene.  However, this time taking steps along an alternate route.  Resulting in contentment and acceptance.  Immediately aware that the variable responsible for determining the outcome was the intention I was holding within.  In the first scenario, acting on the assumption that the outcome would be unsatisfactory and disappointing.  In the second, feeling optimistic that it was unfolding in a hopeful and loving way.  A powerful and timely reminder that how I experience something is simply up to me.