Heartfelt Request

Preparing for morning meditation.  Focusing on the breath.  Taking longer than usual to get settled.  Once there, asking Michael's spirit to please continue staying close.  Visualizing our energies interweaving while sitting in this stillness.  Breathing the essence of him into my heart.  Very much needing his daily help while navigating this journey. Strongly believing in the existence of a spiritual law providing the availability of long term support in circumstances such as this.  Part of the contract when engaging in the experience of a parent losing a child. The bond between these spirits remaining especially strong and deeply attached.  Continuing to put out this heartfelt request nevertheless. Knowing the onus is on us to invite this help in.  They not wanting to overstep their parameters.  Waiting for our expression of free will instead. 

Perfect Combination

Such a powerful experience earlier this week.  One that will not be forgotten.  Lighting the candle. Sitting cross-legged.  Connecting to breath, eyes closed.  From deep within, calling upon the universe for assistance.  Silently formulating the request, "Help me through, help me through."  Invoking support to feel strong and grounded.  Moments later, guidance arriving in the form of a mantra.  One entirely new to me.  "Be Strong--I Can--I Am." Spontaneously repeating it numerous times.  Allowing it to resonate completely.  Resulting in relaxation and a measure of renewed fortitude. Meditation and prayer.  A perfect combination.

Forever

Gazing up at the large photo perched upon the shelf.  A carefree image of Michael hamming it up with his friends.  Finding myself once again ruminating on the concept of forever.  Initially viewing it from the purely physical perspective.  Contemplating the reality of him never sitting here on the sofa with me again.  It takes my breath away.  Then purposefully redirecting my thinking.  Flipping it over.  Turning it around.  Focusing on the understanding that his essence exists eternally.  Enabling me to resume breathing comfortably once again.

Gift of Time

The calendar pages continue to turn.  Five months yesterday.  Initially missing him with my every breath.  The tears flowing freely.  Today, twenty minutes may pass without thoughts of Michael, Kelly or Diesel.   Teary less often.   A few times a day.  Adapting.  This is the gift of time.