Gathering at the Tree

This coming Sunday.  Our daughters, son-in-laws, my husband and I meeting up.  Decorating a mini Christmas tree together.  Starting this annual tradition at Oma's graveside ten Christmases ago.  Symbolically sharing the holidays with someone we loved.  Lighting candles clipped to the branches.  Singing German carols.  Recounting memories. Moving the occasion to Boal Memorial this year.  Using the same tree Michael helped decorate last December.  Adding some new ornaments for our brother and son.  Kelly and Diesel too.  Knowing my mother will happily meet us there.  All gathering together. 

Circle Gatherings

Meeting up in a church lounge.  The Compassionate Friends.  Each person there sharing a common experience.  Mourning the death of a child.  A close friend pointing out some time ago that I now belong to this "special club".  Reading in the group's literature that "there is no charge to attend, we have already paid our dues".  Appreciating the sentiment behind those words.  After the meeting, imagining the possibly of a circle gathering elsewhere sharing the pain of desperately wanting to have children but unable to.  Both grievous places to sit.  Of the two, preferring the one I am sitting in.