Lasting Friendships

A walk along the seawall this morning with a friend of forty years.   Time to catch up on each other's lives.  A daily occurrence in junior high.  Less frequent during college and university life.  As young wives and working mothers, a couple of times a year.  More often now.  Our life philosophies may be different, daily routines unalike, and our neighbourhoods further apart.  It is the similarities however, that have kept us connected.  Married over thirty years.  Mothering three children.  Navigating family dynamics.  We both know what is involved.  The two of us valuing this relationship and making the effort to stay in touch a few times a year, every year.  Lasting friendships.  Priceless.

Seeing the Similarities

I ran into a business acquaintance yesterday and she shared her condolences.  She then exclaimed, "I know exactly how you feel!"  My first thought was, "No you do not".  Middle aged, never been married and no children.  She knew exactly how I felt?   She proceeded to tell me that after her mum died, she had cried every day for eight months.  My mind quickly proceeded to judgement - grieving an eighty year old mother versus a twenty five year old son.  After a few minutes of small talk we said our goodbyes.  As I left, I reflected on her comment and my reaction to it.  I then remembered something that I had momentarily forgotten .  Grief is an emotional reaction to the loss of any relationship that had great meaning in ones life.  She obviously experienced very deep pain with that loss and imagined the same for me.  My desire to measure and compare our situations focused on our differences and created separation in my mind.  Seeing the similarities brought me back to a place of connection.  Much better.