Serendipity Comes Out to Play

A young couple contacted me a few weeks back requesting a short civil marriage ceremony in advance of their larger wedding planned for later this summer. At minimum, this consists of a valid marriage license, the two of them, two witnesses, and myself.

We had arranged to meet in a park here in North Vancouver and luckily the weather was on our side, warm and dry. A few moments after meeting up, I asked if their witnesses were on their way. Turns out the couple had forgotten that part of our communication and had no one coming. So, I explained that once they had completed filling in the family information portion of the license, we could approach two people walking by who looked like they might have 20 minutes or so to witness the marriage. Completely legal, although seldom done. This would be only the 4th time a couple would be going this route during the close to 450 marriages I have officiated over the past 4.5 years.  

As soon as the first part of the paperwork was done and we were ready to invite two strangers to witness, I noticed a young man walking along a nearby path about 30 metres from us, pushing a baby stroller. I turned to the bride and groom and mentioned that we may not want to ask someone with a baby in tow as it may put that person in the awkward position of maybe wanting to help but perhaps needing to get the little one home.

Not 10 seconds later, while we were scanning the rest of the park, the same man, who had momentarily been obstructed from our view by a large tree, reappeared and cautiously approached us. He then asked if we happened to need any witnesses! We could not believe our luck and replied that we certainly did. He then called his wife over who had been walking some distance away from him and as they approached us they both broke out in huge smiles. They explained that I had officiated their marriage last year and were thrilled they could now act as impromptu witnesses for this couple. I recalled their marriage clearly since it was the only time that a couple had done a trail run together first, then jogged over to where their guests and I awaited them in their friend's backyard, still in their running gear.

Needless to say, after the ceremony, all five of us were in a state of awe and overjoyed that serendipity had come out to play at this intimate marriage ceremony, a most welcomed guest creating a lifelong memory for us all. 

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Miracle Log

     Serendipity, coincidence, happy chance event... words used to describe the small miracles that make our lives a little sweeter. Lucky for me, I experience them almost daily. Having a dream about a person I had not thought about for years, only to have someone else mention that same person the next morning. Looking for a small box of goofy sunglasses everywhere I thought it might be, then finding it later that day, within in a larger box marked 'small picture frames' which I had opened for an unrelated project of creating a photo wall. Receiving tickets, out of the blue, to a sold out event I had wanted to attend.

     One way to to help foster this awareness in children is to keep a Miracle Log available. I came across this idea while reading Spirit Games, a book by Barbara Sher. Whenever something serendipitous occurs, anyone in the family can log in by writing down what happened. It can also include the wish that preceded the event, if there was one. There seems to be a snowball affect - the more often these little miracles are noticed, the more often they appear. Keeping track of them can help bring children comfort and joy, and heaven knows, we all thrive when showered with frequent doses of both.

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Timely Death Cafe

When I first heard about Death Cafes on a radio program this past summer, I was intrigued.  Year-round events where strangers meet to discuss this weighty subject over tea and cake.  Over the past few years, these get-togethers have been gaining momentum worldwide.  I am looking forward to my introductory experience with a Death Cafe tomorrow, which is also day one of a two day festival known as Day of the Dead. In cultures where this holiday is recognized, November 1st is dedicated to joyfully celebrating with the souls of children who have passed.  The following day is when deceased adults are welcomed back to join the living in celebrations of life.  Last week, I realized that my book launch happens to fall on the second day of that festival.  Before my son's death, I had given the holiday little thought, but two years ago, during that first November without him, I imagined how supportive it would be to be immersed in a culture that celebrates this.  Then last year, by chance, I was in Sedona for their Day of the Dead festivities.  This year, through serendipity, I again have both days covered - the first will be spent expanding my mind, the second, celebrating a creation born out of death.