First Birthday

Dearest Granddaughter,
Later today we will be celebrating your first birthday, which falls tomorrow.  I have baked you a carrot cake; I cannot remember the last time I made one.  What I do know is that it was an obvious choice given that I had baked this same kind for your mother on her first birthday too.
What you have shown me about yourself thus far:
You give freely of your kisses - to stuffed animals, pictures in books, friends and family.
Your entertaining facial expressions are an ongoing source of joy and laughter.
You enjoy eating, moving your body to music, and reading "Pat the Bunny".
You are not keen on cats nor the feel of grass under your feet.
You are confident and curious, partnered with a healthy dose of cautiousness.
You have a wonderful sense of humour.
You are beautiful.

As you grow older, there may be times when you forget how fabulous you are.  I hope not.  However, if you do, you can read this birthday letter to help remind you of your inherent beauty and worth.  During this first year you have brought a great gift to our entire family, just by being you.

Thank you for being born.

Love and kisses,
Oma

One Full, One Still Empty

With the installation of his ashes and plaque complete, it was time to visit.  Last week, my husband and I together.  Unsure of what to expect.  Another 'first' in a line of many.  Pleasantly surprised.  Emotional of course, but not undone.  Standing there with the knowledge that these were only the fragments of his earthly remains.  That his spirit would always be connected to mine.  Feeling the love behind the eight words we had chosen to capture what we hoped he would be remembered for.  Your smile, laughter and caring heart touched many.  Then yesterday, ventured over again, alone.  Gazed at the round space in the wall, directly beside his.  The one meant for Kelly.  Still empty, unmarked.  Disappointment and anxiety creeping in, wondering if the plan will still go ahead.  That their remains be laid to rest side by side.  Understanding that in the big picture, it will not be end of the world if it does not come to pass.  To help comfort my heart however, very much hoping it will.

( Update: I received confirmation later this afternoon that arrangements had already been made.  So very, very grateful for that.)