Moving On?

Moving on.  Well-meaning individuals tossing versions of this phrase into conversations.  With regards to grieving the death of my son.  "I'm glad to see you're moving on."  Implying leaving something behind.  As if putting it somewhere in the past is the answer.  Not relating to that concept at all.  Not moving anywhere.  Living with it.  Choosing to be in the present as much as possible.  Experiencing what is, right now. Extremely sad that Michael is gone.  Beyond description.  Living with that reality.  This not something that can change.  At the same time, loving the presence of my granddaughter.  Lucky enough to be kissing and holding her often.  Appreciating that immensely.  Grief and joy co-existing daily.  One not precluding the other.  Moving on?  Not part of the equation.

Seeing the Light

It is another cold, grey morning here in Vancouver and I know that I am not alone in feeling extremely light deprived.  Living in this part of the world with limited sunshine, many of us suffer from light deprivation, resulting in low energy levels and depression.  Life events can certainly contribute to feeling this way but the lack of light definitely aggravates these symptoms.  I have just dusted off my Sadelite and placed it in front of me here on my desk where it will shine into my eyes for the next half hour.  This light therapy box produces 10,000 Lux and is used to combat SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder), also known as 'Winter Blues'. It has been a few years since I have had to use this lamp and the fact that it is now the middle of May is unbelievable and unprecedented!  The light that shines inside me can only do so much to compensate for the lack of light outside, so today I am grateful for my Sadelite.